remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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