I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
