I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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