I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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