just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
