Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
