i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
