I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
