Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He better not be in your backpack
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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