I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
