Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Every concussion has its silver lining
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
