My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize