it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
