Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
