overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
