He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
