So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Two words: blizzard sex
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
