Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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