the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You were trust falling into bushes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
