It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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