If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
