that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
