What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i love accidental penises.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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