i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
