u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
