I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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