well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
