Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize