I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
