it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
