shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
