Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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