What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
