He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
