He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
God, I missed his penis.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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