If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
