I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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