I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize