I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
