wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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