oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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