she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
