Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
