My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
