And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
