you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
