Kiss
Puke
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
we should paint friendship bongs
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
