My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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