Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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