I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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