Plan B is the new Plan A
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
