dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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