Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
