she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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