Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
