I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize