a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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