Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
