the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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