You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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