you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
