Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
